7 Common & General Mistakes That Cause New Habits to Fail
depending on where you get your numbers, somewhere between 81 percent and 92 percent of New Year's Resolutions fail.Translation: At least 8 times out of 10, you are more likely to fall back into your old habits and patterns than you are to stick with a new behavior.Behavior change is hard. No doubt about it.Why is that? What are the biggest reasons new habits fail to stick? And what can we do to make positive changes easier?
I don’t claim to have all the answers, but after two years of researching and writing about the science of behavior change, let me share the most practical insights I’ve learned so far.PROBLEM 1: Trying to Change Everything at OnceOLUTION: Pick one thing and do it well.The general consensus among behavior change researchers is that you should focus on changing a very small number of habits at the same time.he highest number you’ll find is changing three habits at once and that suggestion comes from BJ Fogg at Stanford University. Let's be clear: Dr. Fogg is talking about incredibly tiny habits.
How tiny? His suggested habits include flossing one tooth, doing one pushup per day, or saying “It’s going to be a great day” when you get out of bed in the morning. So, even if you keep your new habits that small, you should work on no more than three habits at a time. (Sidenote: I think BJ Fogg's Tiny Habits program is great. I believe it is also free, so you can't beat the price.)
Personally, I prefer to focus on building one new behavior into my life at a time. Once that habit becomes routine, then I move on to the next one. For example, I spent six months focusing on going to the gym every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Once that felt like a routine, then I moved on to my next habit, which was writing a new article every Monday and Thursday. This time, I spent eight months focusing on the new habit until it became part of my lifestyle. Next, I moved on to flossing every day. And so on. You get the idea.
BONUS SOLUTION: Pick a keystone habit.
Still struggling? When in doubt, pick something that could potentially be a keystone habit.
A keystone habit is a behavior or routine that naturally pulls the rest of your life in line. For example, weightlifting is my keystone habit. If I get to the gym, then it creates a ripple effect in other areas of my life. Not only do I get the benefits of working out, I enjoy a wide range of secondary benefits. I focus better after the workout. I tend to eat better when I’m working out consistently. I sleep better at night and wake up with more energy in the morning.
Notice that I didn’t try to build better habits for my focus, my nutrition, my sleep, or my energy. I just did my keystone habit and those other areas were improved as well. This is why keystone habits are powerful. They cascade into other areas of your life. You’ll have to figure out what your keystone habit is for you, but some popular examples include exercise, meditation, or budgeting your monthly finances.
Further reading: Keystone Habits: The Simple Way to Improve All Aspects of Your LifePROBLEM 2: Starting With a Habit That is Too BigSOLUTION: As Leo Babauta says, “Make it so easy you can’t say no.”
If you were to map out the motivation needed to perform a habit, you would find that for many behaviors it looks like this:habit motivation
In other words, the most difficult part of a new habit is starting the behavior. It takes a lot of motivation to head to the gym for a workout after an exhausting day at work, but once you actually begin the workout it doesn’t take much willpower to finish it. For this reason, one of the best things you can do for building a new behavior is to start with a remarkably small habit.
New habits should be non-threatening. Start with a behavior that is so small it seems easy and reasonable to do it each day.Want to do 50 pushups per day? Start with something easy like 5 or 10.Wish you would read more books? Start by reading two pages every night.Want to finally start meditating? Meditate for one minute each morning. After a month, you can move up to two minutes.Further reading: How to Build a New Habit. This is Your Strategy Guide.
Nearly every conversation about goals and resolutions is focused on some type of result. What do you want to achieve? How much weight do you want to lose? How much money do you want to save? How many books do you want to read? How much less do you want to drink?Naturally, we are outcome focused because we want our new behaviors to deliver new results.
Here’s the problem: New goals don’t deliver new results. New lifestyles do. And a lifestyle is not an outcome, it is a process. For this reason, all of your energy should go into building better rituals, not chasing better results.
Rituals are what turn behaviors into habits. In the words of Tony Schwartz, “A ritual is a highly precise behavior you do at a specific time so that it becomes automatic over time and no longer requires much conscious intention or energy
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